Frustrations of Unemployment

I started this blog basically because I was unemployed. Although, this isn’t the whole truth. I am employed as a substitute teacher, but when you go to school for 6 and a half years it is deflating to be doing this. Experience in the classroom is nice, but I want to teach.

I’m honestly chomping a the bit for an opportunity to teach. But sometimes, I get so frustrated with how things are going.

Subbing is a wholly soul sucking job. I used to sub at elementary schools, which was a lot of fun because I actually got to teach even though I’m certified 6-12 and in social studies. Those little kids were inspiring and fun and excited to learn.

Now, I exclusively work at a high school. There are still some amazing days, but for the most part teachers leave just worksheets or movies for the kids.

I thrive on intellectual stimulation. I got that in my classroom as a student teacher. I don’t get that anymore.

I remember my students at my student teacher placement asked me one day, “Mr. Ennui, why do you smile so much?” I told them why. I was smiling so much because this is what I want to do with my life and I was having a lot of fun. This is all I know how to do. I loved everyday in the classroom and I smiled everyday in the classroom.

Now, it’s just frustrating. Subbing does not allow this same interaction.

This disappointment in my current career status is further compounded by Scott Walker’s actions. I feel like the profession I love so much, and worked so hard to get good at is being attack and ruined before I can even get my hands dirty. (In my frustration I sometimes joke to my friends: maybe I should have went to law school instead, that way when people shit on my profession, I could actually get paid a lot.)

It all weighs down on me.

It’s hard. Damn hard.

But, I know that I won’t give up. Teaching is my life. I’m going to fight for it.

It hit me hard when I was reading an obituary on Vaclav Havel. This especially knocked me over:

All his life, Havel lived by the belief that if you wanted something to happen, you had to do something to make it happen, and damn the consequences, including arrest and prison, and possibly even death. Speaking about the early days of the post-Stalin thaw, he once said: “The more we did, the more we were able to do, and the more we were able to do, the more we did.”

Havel’s belief is now my belief. I want something to happen and I’m going to do something to make this happen. I want to teach and be the best teacher I can be. I also want my profession to be respected and to restore the rights that Scott Walker took away.

I’m going to work my ass off to achieve both of these goals. And start that magical cycle:

“The more we did, the more we were able to do, and the more we were able to do, the more we did.”

Be great teachers, work hard for our students, and of course, Recall Walker!